Gunning Down Romance
by Lucky Meryl
Summary: I know I said I was done... but I found a song that fit so perfect! Vash leaves because he knows he has no chance with Meryl, but someone is following him out of town. He ends up shooting someone he deeply cares for...but not before finding out her feel
1. Gunning Down Romance

Vash looked over at Meryl's sleeping form. Looked at her eyes closed, her angelic body slowly moving up and down with each breath. He was falling in love with her, not like it would ever matter. She hated him. All she felt, was pure hatred. He knew that. He didn't even need to tell her his feelings, it would be pointless.  
  
Since Vash returned he was falling deeper for her. But he knew it could never work. His brother's words haunted him. What he had said before leaving on a life on his own. "Love is pointless. It is just a word for your body energy rising at the site of a mere person. It wastes your energy and causes you to hurt the worst pain. Emotional pain. Even when they don't know, you are always angry, like it is someone else's fault that you are too weak to tell someone that you are googly eyed over them. Love..hmph, it is all nonsense."   
  
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain  
  
And feelings of aggressions are the absence of the love drug in  
  
Your veins  
  
Vash was still searching for the mayfly known as love...but did it really exist? Was there really a point for his wandering? For his following her? Maybe Knives was right. Maybe love is useless.  
  
Love come quickly  
  
Because I feel my self-esteem is caving in  
  
It's on the brink  
  
Love come quickly  
  
The blonde man leaned over to kiss her cheek goodbye. He can't stay. It would just be more pain on him, and bounty hunters are still looking for him. She would clearly be a target.  
  
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in  
  
It's in my skin  
  
'It's strange. I can hide it so easily in public, but when it's just me and her, even if she doesn't know it's just us, it is so hard to control myself.' He thought, 'Maybe the others help ease the pain. Knowing that I can't have her hurts....but maybe having friends besides her just makes me feel like I'm not alone. Who am I kidding? I don't know what I am feeling any more.'  
  
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphene  
  
They're morphene  
  
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen  
  
Rarely seen  
  
Love I beg you  
  
Lift me up into that privileged point of view  
  
The world of two  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
Because I console myself that Hallmark™ cards are true  
  
I really do  
  
I'm gunning down romance  
  
'If I ever meet cupid I will kill him.'  
  
It never did a thing for me  
  
But heartache and misery  
  
Ain't nothing but a tragedy  
  
'My pain...It's all his fault.' Vash felt a presence behind him, and turned around, gun at hand.   
  
In one quick movement he was twisted around and he shot at whatever was following him down the street. He was leaving town....who would follow a wanderer?  
  
"Meryl....."  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
"Meryl!" Vash had just shot the woman he loved. 'dammit!'  
  
"Vash I.....I..." The tears were streaming down his cheeks. What has he done? "I have to tell you....before you go..."  
  
"Meryl....Meryl please..."  
  
"I.....I love....I....Love..." She fell unconcious...Vash just sat there with the woman in his arms as her body went limp. She was still breathing, but she was badly injured.   
  
The blonde gunman picked her up and took her in the house. His eyes could produce no more tears, but they were still burning from what he had already weeped out.  
  
Take these broken wings  
  
I'm going to take these broken wings  
  
And learn to fly  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
"Meryl....Meryl please...just live...live for me...just....don't leave me Meryl!" He examined her wound carefully. She had been shot and the bullet went straight through. He wasn't sure how bad the wound was.  
  
Vash could sense her energy dropping. He was going to lose her. He was going to lose the only woman he loved. And he killed her. No more love...no more care. It all leaves with her. All her tender touches as she cared for his wounds. All...gone.  
  
"Meryl...meryl don't leave me...." He wept harder, tears coming back to him as he bandaged her up. She was getting pale, he bandaged her up tight, and held her hand tighter. "Meryl.....I love you too..."  
  
I'm gunning down romance  
  
A/N: Maybe if I get requests I will tell you the end of this story...or you can just leave it up to your imagination. Just let me know because I have an idea about the ending. If you want me to, I will post it as well. 


	2. Closing My Eyes Won't Help Me Leave

Notes: This is for my reviewers. Hehe, there will be one more chappie and I just decided that I am a depressing writer. I don't have that many stories that don't involve death. hehe.

Meryl opened her eyes to a dark abyss. Nothing near her, no pain. She was in void. She felt nothing...except sorrow. She never got to tell him. She fell unconcious before she had the chance. He doesn't know. He has to know....he has to.

'Wait...he shot me. What could have made him so mad that he was so reckless? He never shoots blankly like that. What was he thinking about?' She stopped thinking about Vash, looked around. 'Where am I? Am I....dead? Wait! I can't die yet! I have to tell Vash! I have to tell him that I love him!!'  
  
Where's my love? It's fallen and I'm bound to it  
  
Where's my heart? It stopped, then why am I still here?  
  
Something's missing  
  
'Vash...Vash I have to see you again.' She felt so empty without him. She knew that if she went he would say he wasn't worthy of love, but she had to tell him. She has to get back to him. At any cost.  
  
Wrong...gone? Would you say it's too late?  
  
Say something now. Say something's wrong. Say sorry.  
  
Wrong...gone? Would you stay? It's your fate.  
  
Something's missing  
  
'I can't die yet. I can't leave him alone in this world.' Milly left. She was taken along with her babies. The children, were too much for her body to handle. Sextuplets, what he always wanted.   
  
Wait this out...a promise kept ends suddenly  
  
Close my eyes...relax, lay back and try to breathe  
  
'I can't give up...what is that?' She looks into the distance. One...no two tall figures. Six little ones...it can't be...it is. Wolfwood. Milly, the kids. They came to welcome her. Welcome her....to heaven.  
  
Decide my fate  
  
Is it too late?  
  
To change it all  
  
And mend mistakes  
  
She runs up to the couple "Please don't! I can't leave yet!! I have to tell him!! I have to!!"  
  
"He already knows Meryl." Wolfwood's voice was so calm. Why? Was it good that she was dying?  
  
"No! I can't leave yet! I just want to be down there long enough! Just long enough...enough to tell him....to say goodbye. PLEASE!! Give me that long...please." She fell to her knees sobbing. "I can't be in paradise.....not when I am in this kind of pain. I have to tell him, or this will never be paradise."   
  
"You only have a little time." Milly patted her friend on the shoulder.   
  
As if I would have such thoughts  
  
And scream so loud for all it's not  
  
She opened her eyes again, to a weeping Vash on her arm. "Vash..." He jerked up.  
  
"Meryl! Meryl...I'm...I'm so sorry...thank you...thank you for living for me." Meryl suddenly didn't know what was coming over her as she sang to him silently, petting him softly.  
  
"Don't say you're sorry cause sorry means something is wrong  
  
"Don't say you're sorry...don't say you're sorry now  
  
"And I've changed...those thoughts rang out..."  
  
"Meryl, I..."  
  
"Let me hurry, I can't stay long..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you Vash....please remember that."  
  
"Meryl what are you talking about!? You are going to be okay!" He squeezed her tightly in his arms. "You aren't going to leave me Meryl...I love you...you can't leave me...you can't!"  
  
"Any minute now...please Vash...remember me."  
  
"Meryl please don't...don't do this...Meryl..." He stopped squeezing her and looked at her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"I don't want to leave you..."   
  
His voice became hushed. "Then don't." He leaned over to her, kissing her softly. She opened her mouth, giving him permission to kiss her deeper. He pulled away. "Please.....just don't leave."


	3. Remember

Vash held her hand tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Meryl...Meryl you can't leave me...I love you Meryl...please don't leave me."

Salty streams flowed from her eyes as he spoke those words. He loved her... she loved him...now they were supposed to live happily ever after right? Right? Wrong. Now...now they were to experience more pain. More heart wrenching sobs were to come. The couple could not be together, for death had its own plans.

She cupped his face in her hands, feeling no pain as she moved. "Vash...do you love me enough...to always remember me?"

A shattering sob escaped the lips of the humanoid typhoon. "Why? Why are you asking me something so...so obvious...of course! You are the only woman I ever loved! I can never forget you..."

"As long as you have memories of me...you still have me...as I always have you."

Remember  
I will still be here  
As long as you hold me  
In your memory.

"Meryl...I'm so sorry...you shouldn't have to go...it should be me...I'm so-"

"Shh...please don't Vash..." He clenched her hand tighter, as if as long as he held it, her life was still captured in her body. She couldn't leave if he held her down. "Do me a favor Vash." Her voice became stronger as she spoke, knowing that she would have to face death sooner or later. "In fact promise me something."

"What? I'll do anything...tell me."

"Don't cry...when I leave...don't cry."

"What! How can you ask that?"

"You have cried too much already, and there is no reason to shed more tears. I will always be here. As long as you hold me in your memory."

"Meryl...I can't promise you that."

"Please Vash! That is all I ask! Please shed no more tears! No tears over me...show your love, by not crying. I hurt, when you do."

"I...I won't..."

"Promise me."

"I promise...I promise that I love you, so that I won't hurt you any more..."

Remember  
When your dreams have ended  
Time can be transcended,  
Just remember me.

"Meryl...I...I will see you again."

"I know." She petted his face with her hand. "And when you come, I will greet you with open arms. "

"I know, that you will. I will always love you, no matter how far away. Even though I may not see you."

"But you will Vash."

"What?"

"I will be standing on the stars, looking down on you. Making sure you are safe." Vash grinned, even though she was leaving him, she would still be there. She would still love him, still be near him, and he would speak to her every night.

I  
Am the one star  
That keeps burning  
So brightly  
It is the last light  
To fade into the rising sun.

"I will talk to you every night. I will sing you the song that we sang on the cliff."

"And I will always listen."

"Meryl, I will miss you so much...why? Why do you have to leave?"

"I don't know, but there is a reason I am sure. But remember, no matter how far, I am always with you." She laughed, gaining more strength in each chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"I must sound like a romance novel..hehe, I always thought I would never end up like a sentimental person but here I am, speaking like a book you get out of the drama section of a library."

"Yeah...you do..." He laughed too, it was nice...to laugh like that. Not crying that she was going to go, but laughing about it. So much better. "Meryl...can I kiss you one more time?"

"Of course. " She wasn't allowed to speak more, his mouth had covered hers. Her arms snaked around his neck, feeling the soft hair in her hands. He had wrapped his arms around her back, stroking it softly.

She melted into him, fitting perfectly. She felt his tongue on her lips, asking permission to kiss deeper, more passionately, and she accepted his request, and participated with him. He felt along her teeth, she his, this feeling, this taste, this...love. Incredible.

And with you  
Whenever you tell  
My story  
For I am all I've done.

Her hands fell from his neck, her body went limp. She was gone. Vash let her body down, lying it on the bed. The sorrow was unbearable, but he did not shed a tear. Did not break his promise. Instead he covered her up with a blanket, and remembered all the things about her.

He remembered all the hit he took, from her...for her. He remembered how many times he was yelled at. Her cute little face that she made when she was angry. He thought about how many times he had thought about kissing her sooner, and cursed in his head for not taking a chance.

Tears threatened to fall so many times, the pressure in the back of his eyes was proof of that, but he held them in. He wouldn't cry...he promised her. He thought of more memories that may be able to cheer him up. The time that he helped with the Nebraska family to save the old man and woman's land. He never told her how he helped out.

That time that they met the children in the desert also came to mind. She made his favorite food for him. A whole plate of donuts. She thought of him, and cooked for him.

His mind wandered back to the day before he left. How she risked her life for him. She stopped the man from kiling him. Even though she could have died in the process. She really did love him.

Remember  
I will still be here  
As long as you hold me  
In your memory  
Remember me.

Vash buried her the next day. Made the caskit with his bare hands, along with anything he could find. He even found wood, nails, a hammer. His hands became raw from the work, but it was worth it. In it he placed what he could. He left her in her insurance uniform, her mantle still on, her derringers all loaded. He placed a picture of himself in it, along with his red coat. "I will see you soon...my love." He whispered as he placed the last spoon full of sand atop the box.

He turned to the sky, feeling the wind hit his cheek. Hearing it whisper softly, "I love you..."

I  
Am that one voice  
In the cold wind  
That whispers  
And if you listen  
You'll hear me call across the sky.

"I love you too Meryl." He whispered back, never shedding a tear. He would keep his promise to her, he wouldn't cry.

Never, he wasn't going to hurt her any more. She would...rest in peace. He gave her love, it was only right, to also give her the peace she deserved.

As long as  
I still can reach out  
And touch you  
Then I will never die.

Many who heard this story may have thought that he was probably insane, that the grief made him lose his mind. But in the wind he could hear her voice, talking. Telling him that she was still there.

Remember  
I'll never leave you  
If you will only  
Remember me.

People would especially think he had lost it if he told them what he heard from her every time the wind blew. He heard her soothing his sorrowed soul saying,

"Remember me."

Remember  
I will still be here  
As long as you hold me  
In your memory.

Remember  
When your dreams have ended  
Time can be transcended  
I live forever,  
Remember me.

Remember me.

Remember me.

And Vash would always reply the same, speaking in the wind. "I will remember you always." He knew they would meet again, and she would welcome him to Eden...with open arms.

A/N: -Holds out a box of tissues- who needs one? -sniff- I know I do. -foghorn is heard- Whew! I cried so bad when I finished up this story. So did you? I know it was depressing, but I had the need to write it. The songs were as following,

Chapter 1- Gunning Down Romance: by Savage Garden

Chapter 2-Closing My Eyes Won't Help Me Leave: By Moneen

Chapter 3- Remember: By Josh Groban (from Troy)

Well C-ya...-sniff- so sad...


	4. Wish It Would Break

_**I know I said that the story was over…but I found another song to use! I couldn't resist…I tried… but I can't.**_

Vash gazed up at the wall. It was the only picture she'd ever let him take of her. He had taken her and Milly to the geo-beach a few weeks after he'd come back. Knives was unconscious with the doc, being babysat if you will. Milly was eight months pregnant in the picture and it was very obvious.

Meryl was in her bathing suit he'd picked out. She hated it, but he loved the way it clung to her shapely body. It was a one piece, because he knew she wouldn't wear a bikini even if it was all she had. The low cut neck was the part she hated the most, convinced that she didn't look as good as most girls. Vash knew better though. To him, she was the most beautiful living creature ever to live. Her hands were covering her chest, but he could remember what she looked like anyways.

Vash slightly smiled as he remembered how Milly set them up that day, going to the bathroom and leaving him to put sunscreen on Meryl. The suns were especially hot near the geo-beach. Vash remembered how he practically begged…no not practically; he got down on his knees and begged for her to swim. Finally he gave up and carried her.

She was so mad at him. Milly was lucky enough to come out and see the scene and got someone to take a picture of the two of them running around as Vash was being chased by and angry, wet Meryl. They were all three smiling though. That was the first day…that he'd kissed her. But the two of them were convinced it meant nothing, so they decided to let it pass.

Less than a month later Milly went into labor with septuplets. No one survived. The two of them were the only ones left. At first it was the worst moments of their lives, but months later they decided that if Milly were there, she wouldn't let them cry. They finally decided in their own little minds, that it was her and Wolfwood giving them another chance to tell each other.

Vash gazed at that picture every day, wishing he could go back, wishing that he could take back the bullet. But he kept his promise and didn't cry.

He hated that picture, yet loved it at the same time. The way it lingered there, reminding him of his mistakes, and reminding him of the good times. He didn't know what to do, so he left the room, slamming the door knowing the picture would fall.

Later that day he would come back home and pick up the broken glass, putting the picture back where it belonged on the wall.

That old picture frame keeps hangin' 'round  
Cause' I ain't ready yet to take it down  
But every now and then I'll slam the door  
Shake it loose and she'll hit the floor  
But I can't throw a good thing away  
I wish it would break

Vash sat in his truck. Sighing, he decided to go see her, to talk to her again. But it was too quiet in the truck, so he turned on the radio. The only station that picked up in that rickety old vehicle was the oldies channel, which played music from the old world. He listened, turning on the truck, as song after song; he heard Meryl's voice singing along. Then _it_ came on.

"_So, on the first evening a pebble…"_ At first he ignored it, knowing that if he turned it off he would only think of her, and that he would have tears form in his eyes. He couldn't break his promise to her. But as the song went on, he got tired of it, so he tried to make it stop. He screamed at it to shut up, angrily pushing the buttons to different channels. But it always scanned until it picked up that same station, the only one he didn't want to hear, and the only one that picked up.

He slightly wondered how long it would hold out with how he treated his radio. Every once in a while the buttons would fall off, and the object itself had gained dents and cracks in the plastic. It had blood stains from where Vash had busted his knuckle abusing the mini satellite.

I swear my trucks got a haunted radio  
Cause' I hear you in every song  
But I know what the silence makes me do  
So I keep givin' those buttons more abuse  
I wonder how much punchin' it can take  
I wish it would break

He didn't want to forget Meryl, but he didn't want to live in misery, and he was sure she didn't either. But as long as he lived he couldn't get over her. She was the only woman he'd ever loved. Besides Rem, but she was like a mother to him, not like Meryl. He…he wished it was him to go instead of Meryl. He wanted her back. He would easily give his life for her; she was the only woman he'd ever killed for.

He had killed Legato…to save her, because he didn't want to risk her life by wasting time to find a solution. If it was anyone else, he probably would. But with the anger he had pent up inside at Legato already, he had gone too far by putting Meryl in danger.

He was also the first woman he'd kissed. He knew it was strange that in 133 years he had never kissed a woman like that, but he knew that just made it better. He would never find a woman like Meryl again, so he silently wished that he could find a place where no one would get hurt, so that he could use up the last of his energy with his angel arms. But he knew how mad Meryl would be if he killed himself. She would beat him in heaven. And Wolfwood especially. So he had to keep on living, in agonizing torture every day, until his heart finally gave up.

Then I could move on right on  
Down the line  
Where I don't see you need you  
In my life  
But you're wrapped around me  
Your memory's bound me like a chain  
I wish it would break

Vash parked outside the cemetery gates, pulling out the flowers he had bought on the way. He walked down through the garden of graves, looking for the one that he had made himself.

It was a wooden cross that reached up to his waist. At the bottom, was a sleeping angel in a long coat and spiky hair. It was him. In the middle it said "Meryl Stryfe: Star-date 110-133; My angel in heaven, I will see you again, and until then, I won't pain you with my tears. Fly forever in heaven."

The cross was about a foot wide, and a foot thick. He had placed it there a few days after he buried her. He stayed up all day and all night making that cross for her. He laid the lavender flowers on her grave, whispering to her softly.

"I came by as promised. I tell you every day that I will come back again. But I can't do this anymore. I can't come here every day and become closer and closer to tears each time. Not if I want to keep my promise to you." He sighed deeply. "I wish, sometimes, that I didn't fall in love with you, because everyday my heart aches, wanting to fall apart, and I wish it would. Maybe if it broke…I would feel better. I'm miserable. I…I want you to be here… and hold me so I can cry." Vash fell to his knees looking up at the sky.

And this old heart of mine's got a mind of its own  
And it's decided not to let you go  
Even though your love's no longer here  
It won't let me shed one tear  
Cause' it's still holdin' onto yesterday  
I wish it would break

"Dear God, why can't you take me too? Why can't you free me from this torture?" His eyes glossed over, but the closer a tear came to falling, the more his heart would pain him. "Please… release me from my pain…please." A single tear rolled down his cheeks, despite his efforts to keep it in.

Vash screamed out in sadness. "Why! Why can't I live without her! Why can't I die and be with her! I fear taking a breath because it only serves as proof that life goes on and she's not here. I want it to be a dream… I want it to all go away. I … I want to be with her… even if it means… in death…" All the tears he had held in for three years finally came cascading down his cheeks, dripping off into the soil. "Why did she have to be so… perfect?"

Then I could move on right on  
Down the line  
Where I don't see you need you  
In my life  
But you're wrapped around me  
Your memory's bound me like a chain  
I wish it would break

He cried for what seemed like days, each tear making his heart ache more. He had broken the promise he had made to her. She was going to be mad at him now. He stopped at his truck, his eyes swollen from tears, and looked up at the grey sky. "She's crying… I made Meryl cry." He said as a raindrop hit his cheek.

I wish it would break

He sat in the truck, sighing before he cranked it up. Driving down the dusty road, his sight became blurry as his eyes began to tear again. He wiped his eyes and looked back at the road, seeing another truck heading his way. It was catching up fast, and it was obvious the driver was drunk.

Vash swerved out of the way as the driver sped towards him head on; the trucks grazed each other, tearing off Vash's bumper. The other man kept going straight ahead, but Vash had turned and landed in a ditch.

The blond man opened the door, checking to make sure he was okay. The rain poured from the sky, Vash could smell the humidity, along with smoke. His eyes widened as he turned back towards his own truck. It was going to blow. The impact had completely destroyed the engine, sending it to a state of self destruction. Vash turned quickly, but as his first foot hit the ground, the engine blew up.

I wish it would break

His body was covered in burns, his body lying on the sandy earth. His body was still slightly on fire, but he didn't care. He was numb all over, the rain was the only thin he felt. "Thank you…" he whispered as his eyes closed. He had to breathe no longer…

Go on... And break


End file.
